[Spoken emphatically, Akira very nearly cuts Ann off. He'd take a moment to compose himself, to suck down a much needed breath, but Akira doesn't. Akira can't. He hangs onto his composure by a mere thread, refusing to let his voice wobble or his teeth grind in frustration.
Then you came along and gave me hope. On the other end of the line, Joker shoves his glasses up and pinches the bridge of his nose, a headache brewing in either temple.]
I don't care how they felt. I'm not them, and I never will be. All I can confirm for you his how I feel, and I–
[God damn it. That thread very nearly snaps clean in twain, but Akira composes himself. Sucks down that much needed breath.]
[okay.............. he's just going to... wash his face, lay in bed, and stare vacantly at the ceiling until Ann gets here. When she does, he'll be there to open the door for her, uncertainties mounting. God damn it, he's going to get yelled at, isn't he.]
[ When Ann shows up, she's bundled up in a long trench coat that seems to hang off her frame in some ways while pinching in others. Clearly, this wasn't designed for an hourglass figure like hers. A scarf is wrapped around her neck, pulled up even over her chin and her cheeks. It's cold out here, dammit.
When the door opens, she pushes right in, under Akira's arm if she has to. Then she turns to face him, pulling down the scarf so more of her face than her eyes and her furrowed brow can be seen. ]
Okay, I'm here. Now... say it again. The... the thing you said before.
[Never mind the fact that she's dressed in a men's coat– it's cold as shit and Akira's ushering her inside, a hand planted firmly on the curve of her back.
...rather, he'd have helped her inside of Ann didn't help herself, muscling right past him. Dumbfounded, Akira stands on the threshold, very nearly shutting the door on his fingertips. Ah. She's definitely mad.]
I'm sorry?
[That's it, isn't it? The thing he said before. One of several things he said before, but a thing all the same.]
No. I mean, yes, that's good, but... The other thing.
[ Her cheeks, already chapped from the frosty winds turn a deeper crimson color, and she fidgets where she stands. It's hard to read her mood from her expression and body language--she mostly seems guarded, but there's an eagerness to her as well. ]
[ That wasn't how it sounded, but she has to confirm it. One way or another, she has to know how he really feels. She looks up at him with her turquoise eyes, taking a step closer to him. ]
[There aren't many things he struggles with as badly as he does with the weight of his own feelings. They're cumbersome things, things he'd rather not balance when Ann's feelings are heavy enough a load, but alas.
Alas, he owes the girl he loves a window into his soul that he'd fully anticipated never opening again. Scrubbing at the back of his neck, Akira takes hold of Ann's hand and laces their fingers together, guiding her through the quaint apartment and into his dingy little bedroom.]
Past, present, and future. I've loved you for a while now.
[Akira's bedroom door eases open with a groan. He guides Ann inside, the room cleaned and straightened out where once it had been a dark, dusty mess. The foul weather's robbed them of electricity, and so Akira keeps a bundle of candles glowing on the nightstand beside his bed. He sits her down on that creaky old mattress and settles beside her.]
I thought it would be easier if I didn't. Then you wouldn't have to worry about this island's demands.
[ This room is nothing like Ren's room at Leblanc, but it's got kind of the same energy, doesn't it? An abandoned space made livable again, sparsely decorated at first, but she's sure he'll soon begin to decorate it with tokens and gifts--all the little items his friends will give him.
She lets him lead her inside, sitting on the bed when he nudges her. Her body leans in towards his, both out of affection for him and to seek the warmth of his body. ]
What about what I think? You can't just make that kind of decision on your own without even asking me how I feel about it first. I'm not gonna lie to you and say I haven't been with a couple of people here on the island, but I don't feel the same way about them that I do about you.
[ His admission of love is an undeniable rush. It's so strong that it makes her shiver just a bit, as if from lingering cold. ]
I--I love you, too! [ Why does she sound so angry? ] I really love you! Like, really really.
[Ah, he's feeling the love like one feels an anvil collide with their skull. Ann sidles closer and Akira leans back to nab the woolen blanket on his bed, tossing it around their shoulders. For good measure, he threads his hand around Ann's waist and brings her just a little closer.]
If you really really love me, I believe you. [But do feel free to add more reallys for emphasis.] And I'm grateful. The idea of losing you was devastating.
[ She grumbles a little but when he drapes his blanket around her she seems pacified. He’ll feel her relax gradually, letting her body rest against his with a low sigh. The lingering sting of his words is starting to fade, and she loves him enough that it’s easy to forgive him for being a dumb teenage boy when he holds her like this. ]
[That's better, isn't it? No yelling, no shouting, no threatening him with the daggers hidden in those pretty turquoise eyes. Tugging that blanket taut around them, Akira nuzzles into the soft sweep of Ann's hair, encourages her to rest her cheek against his shoulder.]
It's a little cold in here. Sorry about that. We lost power around the time the blizzard began.
[ If her meaning isn’t clear enough, she leans in just a bit more and kisses the pulse in his throat. She won’t push for anything, of course, but it’s an olive branch, as if to say that she’s there for him if and when he needs her. ]
[And she'll feel his pulse kick up a notch beneath her pliant lips, laughter warm and rumbling in his throat. That's an olive branch he'll happily reach out towards, dancing the tips of his fingers along the curve of Ann's jaw and leading her up into a kiss.]
Let's lay down. This bed's much warmer when you're in it.
[ She kisses Akira with a contented sigh, slipping out of the borrowed coat and scarf before lying down with him, pillowing her head on his shoulder. This really is much better; it feels like an immense weight has been lifted from her shoulders. ]
You're such a sweet talker. [ Not that she minds. ] God, I'm so glad that's over with, though. I've been so stressed out--even eating crepes hasn't helped me feel better.
[The relief's palpable and it's a feeling not exclusive to Ann, the faintest of sighs managing to slip past Akira's lips. Letting his guard down will take some time, but he has no intention of keeping Ann at a distance regardless of the discrepancy between their memories.
In time, they'll bridge that gap once more. There's no need to rush it for the time being.]
So you were stress eating.
[Ma'am, this heart of his can only hold so many daggers. Mouthing against her temple, Akira peppers her with little apologetic kisses.]
Poor thing. Looks like you won't be eating sweets for a while...
[Gosh, that sure does sound like a threat to take her sweets away! Is Akira serious?]
[ Spoken in a sweet, lilting voice. Ann gives his side a little pinch. Not too hard, of course, since Akira wouldn't be enough of a fool to try and deprive her of her sweet sweet crepes.
Threats aside, Ann basks in the kisses Akira gives her, nuzzling under his jaw like a kitten. ]
Hey... can I ask you some questions? Questions about us, I mean.
Maybe I'll help myself to some desserts in your stead.
[Curling around her, Akira skims the very tips of his fingers along the rise of her hips, then lower, lower, lower...
...just kidding. Teasing Ann is so much sweeter than any dessert. Akira shuffles around in bed a bit, spooning his lovely lady and resting his chin on the crown of her head.]
[ Ann whines softly at Akira's teasing, but she'll let it go for now. Easier to talk when they aren't fooling around, anyway. Once he settles down, she pulls his arms around her and snuggles back into the curve of his body. ]
I guess... when did you first know that you liked me as more than a friend...? Did you make the first move or did I? How long were we dating before you came here?
[And really, it is. When did his feelings for Ann go from platonic to decidedly less friends-only? Akira considers the particulars with a muted hum.]
It was gradual. I remember the little things, like our hands grazing each other's on missions, bumping into you while stumbling through the dark. Small things. Things that made me realize how soft your skin was and how beautiful you looked up close.
[Arms tucked up beneath the swell of her breasts, Akira gives Ann a little squeeze.]
After a while, it became impossible not to think about you. I nearly flunked my exams because of you. [Teasing, teasing. Anyhow–] We'd been dating for several months. Sojiro had asked me what I wanted for my birthday, and because I wanted you, that's the day I asked you out. You were the best present I'd ever been given.
For me it was kind of like that, too. I think it started that day when you chased me down, remember? I thought, "what's his deal?" and "why does he care so much?" It was nice just to have someone to talk to, I guess--someone who would listen to me without judging me. I didn't realize it until we were casing Madarame's palace, but... there was never an opportunity to bring it up. Then, when we visited with Shiho that last time up on the roof of the school, and I was so upset, and you said something like "The team will always be there for you."
[ She tries not to sound sad when she sighs quietly, but it's hard to forget how that moment felt. ]
In that moment, I thought I'd give almost anything for you--no, for him--to say he would always be there for me. I never pressed the issue after that, and he never talked about it with us, but we all spend so much time together that it was easy to figure out when he started seeing someone.
[ Covering her face with her hands, Ann groans. ]
God, what's wrong with me? Why am I even worried about that anymore when I'm here with you right now? I'm such an idiot sometimes.
[The team will always be there for you. So Ann recalls, but Akira doesn't remember their conversation going that way. Not quite.
For a good, long moment, Akira is quiet. Quiet enough to hear his breaths mingle with Ann's. Quiet enough to hear the steady tempo of her heartbeat. When he finally speaks, his inflection is flat, his voice eerily quiet. Still... the words themselves are weighty for all that they represent. Immensely so.]
You were so afraid of being left alone. When I saw you crying, something came over me. [All those pent up feelings overwhelmed me. From that point on, there was no hiding how he felt. No intention to, and certainly no desire.] "You have me." Those were the words I said to you that day.
I won't allow you to be lonely anymore, Ann. In return... please take good care of me.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2020-12-07 02:57 am (UTC)[Spoken emphatically, Akira very nearly cuts Ann off. He'd take a moment to compose himself, to suck down a much needed breath, but Akira doesn't. Akira can't. He hangs onto his composure by a mere thread, refusing to let his voice wobble or his teeth grind in frustration.
Then you came along and gave me hope. On the other end of the line, Joker shoves his glasses up and pinches the bridge of his nose, a headache brewing in either temple.]
I don't care how they felt. I'm not them, and I never will be. All I can confirm for you his how I feel, and I–
[God damn it. That thread very nearly snaps clean in twain, but Akira composes himself. Sucks down that much needed breath.]
I loved you. I loved you from the very start.
no subject
Date: 2020-12-07 03:03 am (UTC)[ Why is this so difficult? ]
Where are you?
no subject
Date: 2020-12-07 03:05 am (UTC)Maruki's.
[Home, in other words.]
no subject
Date: 2020-12-07 03:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-12-07 03:13 am (UTC)[okay.............. he's just going to... wash his face, lay in bed, and stare vacantly at the ceiling until Ann gets here. When she does, he'll be there to open the door for her, uncertainties mounting. God damn it, he's going to get yelled at, isn't he.]
no subject
Date: 2020-12-07 04:03 am (UTC)When the door opens, she pushes right in, under Akira's arm if she has to. Then she turns to face him, pulling down the scarf so more of her face than her eyes and her furrowed brow can be seen. ]
Okay, I'm here. Now... say it again. The... the thing you said before.
no subject
Date: 2020-12-07 04:10 am (UTC)...rather, he'd have helped her inside of Ann didn't help herself, muscling right past him. Dumbfounded, Akira stands on the threshold, very nearly shutting the door on his fingertips. Ah. She's definitely mad.]
I'm sorry?
[That's it, isn't it? The thing he said before. One of several things he said before, but a thing all the same.]
no subject
Date: 2020-12-07 04:20 am (UTC)[ Her cheeks, already chapped from the frosty winds turn a deeper crimson color, and she fidgets where she stands. It's hard to read her mood from her expression and body language--she mostly seems guarded, but there's an eagerness to her as well. ]
The last thing you said.
no subject
Date: 2020-12-07 04:23 am (UTC)I loved you.
[Saying this again is like driving the edge of a blade into his heart, but hey. The things he does for his social links.]
no subject
Date: 2020-12-07 04:31 am (UTC)[ That wasn't how it sounded, but she has to confirm it. One way or another, she has to know how he really feels. She looks up at him with her turquoise eyes, taking a step closer to him. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-12-07 04:42 am (UTC)[There aren't many things he struggles with as badly as he does with the weight of his own feelings. They're cumbersome things, things he'd rather not balance when Ann's feelings are heavy enough a load, but alas.
Alas, he owes the girl he loves a window into his soul that he'd fully anticipated never opening again. Scrubbing at the back of his neck, Akira takes hold of Ann's hand and laces their fingers together, guiding her through the quaint apartment and into his dingy little bedroom.]
Past, present, and future. I've loved you for a while now.
[Akira's bedroom door eases open with a groan. He guides Ann inside, the room cleaned and straightened out where once it had been a dark, dusty mess. The foul weather's robbed them of electricity, and so Akira keeps a bundle of candles glowing on the nightstand beside his bed. He sits her down on that creaky old mattress and settles beside her.]
I thought it would be easier if I didn't. Then you wouldn't have to worry about this island's demands.
no subject
Date: 2020-12-07 05:11 am (UTC)She lets him lead her inside, sitting on the bed when he nudges her. Her body leans in towards his, both out of affection for him and to seek the warmth of his body. ]
What about what I think? You can't just make that kind of decision on your own without even asking me how I feel about it first. I'm not gonna lie to you and say I haven't been with a couple of people here on the island, but I don't feel the same way about them that I do about you.
[ His admission of love is an undeniable rush. It's so strong that it makes her shiver just a bit, as if from lingering cold. ]
I--I love you, too! [ Why does she sound so angry? ] I really love you! Like, really really.
no subject
Date: 2020-12-07 03:23 pm (UTC)[Ah, he's feeling the love like one feels an anvil collide with their skull. Ann sidles closer and Akira leans back to nab the woolen blanket on his bed, tossing it around their shoulders. For good measure, he threads his hand around Ann's waist and brings her just a little closer.]
If you really really love me, I believe you. [But do feel free to add more reallys for emphasis.] And I'm grateful. The idea of losing you was devastating.
no subject
Date: 2020-12-07 03:59 pm (UTC)[ She grumbles a little but when he drapes his blanket around her she seems pacified. He’ll feel her relax gradually, letting her body rest against his with a low sigh. The lingering sting of his words is starting to fade, and she loves him enough that it’s easy to forgive him for being a dumb teenage boy when he holds her like this. ]
You haven’t lost me. I promise.
no subject
Date: 2020-12-07 04:06 pm (UTC)[That's better, isn't it? No yelling, no shouting, no threatening him with the daggers hidden in those pretty turquoise eyes. Tugging that blanket taut around them, Akira nuzzles into the soft sweep of Ann's hair, encourages her to rest her cheek against his shoulder.]
It's a little cold in here. Sorry about that. We lost power around the time the blizzard began.
no subject
Date: 2020-12-07 08:25 pm (UTC)[ If her meaning isn’t clear enough, she leans in just a bit more and kisses the pulse in his throat. She won’t push for anything, of course, but it’s an olive branch, as if to say that she’s there for him if and when he needs her. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-12-08 01:02 am (UTC)[And she'll feel his pulse kick up a notch beneath her pliant lips, laughter warm and rumbling in his throat. That's an olive branch he'll happily reach out towards, dancing the tips of his fingers along the curve of Ann's jaw and leading her up into a kiss.]
Let's lay down. This bed's much warmer when you're in it.
[I could use some comfort.]
no subject
Date: 2020-12-08 01:36 am (UTC)You're such a sweet talker. [ Not that she minds. ] God, I'm so glad that's over with, though. I've been so stressed out--even eating crepes hasn't helped me feel better.
no subject
Date: 2020-12-08 02:16 am (UTC)In time, they'll bridge that gap once more. There's no need to rush it for the time being.]
So you were stress eating.
[Ma'am, this heart of his can only hold so many daggers. Mouthing against her temple, Akira peppers her with little apologetic kisses.]
Poor thing. Looks like you won't be eating sweets for a while...
[Gosh, that sure does sound like a threat to take her sweets away! Is Akira serious?]
no subject
Date: 2020-12-08 03:07 am (UTC)[ Spoken in a sweet, lilting voice. Ann gives his side a little pinch. Not too hard, of course, since Akira wouldn't be enough of a fool to try and deprive her of her sweet sweet crepes.
Threats aside, Ann basks in the kisses Akira gives her, nuzzling under his jaw like a kitten. ]
Hey... can I ask you some questions? Questions about us, I mean.
no subject
Date: 2020-12-08 03:16 am (UTC)[Curling around her, Akira skims the very tips of his fingers along the rise of her hips, then lower, lower, lower...
...just kidding. Teasing Ann is so much sweeter than any dessert. Akira shuffles around in bed a bit, spooning his lovely lady and resting his chin on the crown of her head.]
Shoot.
no subject
Date: 2020-12-08 03:36 am (UTC)I guess... when did you first know that you liked me as more than a friend...? Did you make the first move or did I? How long were we dating before you came here?
no subject
Date: 2020-12-08 03:47 am (UTC)[And really, it is. When did his feelings for Ann go from platonic to decidedly less friends-only? Akira considers the particulars with a muted hum.]
It was gradual. I remember the little things, like our hands grazing each other's on missions, bumping into you while stumbling through the dark. Small things. Things that made me realize how soft your skin was and how beautiful you looked up close.
[Arms tucked up beneath the swell of her breasts, Akira gives Ann a little squeeze.]
After a while, it became impossible not to think about you. I nearly flunked my exams because of you. [Teasing, teasing. Anyhow–] We'd been dating for several months. Sojiro had asked me what I wanted for my birthday, and because I wanted you, that's the day I asked you out. You were the best present I'd ever been given.
no subject
Date: 2020-12-10 04:41 am (UTC)[ She tries not to sound sad when she sighs quietly, but it's hard to forget how that moment felt. ]
In that moment, I thought I'd give almost anything for you--no, for him--to say he would always be there for me. I never pressed the issue after that, and he never talked about it with us, but we all spend so much time together that it was easy to figure out when he started seeing someone.
[ Covering her face with her hands, Ann groans. ]
God, what's wrong with me? Why am I even worried about that anymore when I'm here with you right now? I'm such an idiot sometimes.
no subject
Date: 2020-12-11 01:36 am (UTC)For a good, long moment, Akira is quiet. Quiet enough to hear his breaths mingle with Ann's. Quiet enough to hear the steady tempo of her heartbeat. When he finally speaks, his inflection is flat, his voice eerily quiet. Still... the words themselves are weighty for all that they represent. Immensely so.]
You were so afraid of being left alone. When I saw you crying, something came over me. [All those pent up feelings overwhelmed me. From that point on, there was no hiding how he felt. No intention to, and certainly no desire.] "You have me." Those were the words I said to you that day.
I won't allow you to be lonely anymore, Ann. In return... please take good care of me.
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From:two months later...
From: